We are the masters of our universe.  Yes, I know, this is a big statement, but it is the truth.  We often believe that we are victims of our lives when we are truly the creators.  According to the book “Law of Attraction” by Esther and Jerry Hicks, “That which is likened to itself is drawn.”  When we focus on what we don’t want, we get exactly that, more of that which we don’t want.  In other words, if we focus on the lack of something, that’s exactly what we get, the lack of it.  Therefore, focusing on the solution will create a solution, whereas focusing on the problem will create more problems.  If we knew this simple truth growing up, can you imagine how different our lives would be?  The good news is, it’s never too late. 

To begin to work on creating the relationship of your dreams, I find the works of both Harville Hendrix’ Imago theory as well as Esther and Jerry Hicks’ law of attraction extremely helpful.  Hicks suggests that when we want something, we first need to get crystal clear about what exactly that is.  In other words, we can only get what we want if we know what we want!  Second, believe and expect that you can get it.  Last but not least, feel positive emotion about it.  Hicks states: “That which we give thought to with emotion, and expect it, we will attract.”  For example, if we sadly say over and over again:  “I’m so lonely” or “I will never find the right person.”  Then, this is what you’ll get more of….being lonely and not being with the right person.  On the other hand, if we repeatedly say with joy, “I want a loving, conscious relationship in which we will heal and grow!”…….the chances of creating it are very good.    

Begin to think about:  What does your dream relationship look like, sound like, feel like?  Take few deep breaths to center and relax yourself.  Turn off the phone, the computer, the television and let your concerns, worries, tensions flow out with each breath.  Let yourself relax.  Now, think about some of the best time periods you remember in either your present relationship or if you’re single, focus on past relationships.   What was it that made you feel so good?  Was it that you could talk about things deep inside of you, sharing your secret worlds?  Was it that you had fun and laughed?  Was it that you were warm and affectionate to each other?  Now imagine what your present relationship will look like in 3 years. (If you’re single, imagine the relationship you want to have for the long-term).  What would your behavior look like?  How would you express your love for one another?  What would the ingredients of your dream relationship be if it were to actually become real in the next couple of years?  What would you both be doing?  What kind of climate would you commit to creating?  Allow yourselves to dream BIG, envisioning the kind of real love that you most want.

Now, it is time to create your relationship vision:

Much like Hicks’ theory, Harville Hendrix, the author of “Getting the Love You Want”, states that one of the most critical steps towards getting the love we want is that we first create a “relationship vision”.  Only when we can create a vision, can we begin to truly see the possibilities. Holding in your mind and heart the vision of your dream relationship and working at it each day with joy and intention can help you get what you want rather quickly.  According to Dr. Hendrix, it is wise to create your vision as if it’s already happening.  For example, if you want to be able to communicate with your partner, or partner to be, in a loving and open manner, write it as follows:  “We communicate in a loving, open manner.”  If you’re in a relationship, first make separate lists and then combine them.  Make sure you post the list where you can see it, read it, and feel it daily. (It may be helpful to purchase Hendricks’ book to get detailed instructions).

There is an enormous feeling of freedom when we truly know how to get what we want.  There is also an enormous amount of conditioning that tells us that we are victims to life’s circumstances.  Therefore, it will take an enormous amount of self effort to remember who we are and that we are capable of creating anything we want.  Go for it!       

Let me know how it goes.